The baby constantly touches his hair or sucks his finger
If a baby regularly twirls a strand of hair around his hand, bites his nails, or sucks his finger, this indicates that he is under emotional stress. An unconscious action that he repeats over and over again gives the baby a feeling of calm and stability. Children often resort to this method when they are afraid of disappointing mom and dad.
If parents make excessive demands on their child and expect only the best results, it is vital for the child to calm down. He is afraid of not living up to the expectations that adults place on him. There is no one to ask for help, because parents will scold and say: “You are already an adult. Solve problems yourself”, “We are tired of doing everything for you”, “How many times can we repeat: we are busy!” If you say this to a child, think about what it would be like for him to hear such phrases from the person closest to him.
Marina, 23 years old:
“I sucked my thumb as a child. This continued for up to 6 years. From the age of three, my parents sent me to the figure skating section, my mother additionally taught me English, my father taught me to play chess. I didn’t have a childhood as such. Later I realized that I calmed down only when the finger was in my mouth. My parents scolded me for this habit, smeared mustard on my finger, and bandaged me. It would have been better, of course, if they had taken me to a child psychologist, but at that time this was not accepted. And my authoritarian mom and dad wouldn’t agree to see a doctor. It seemed to them that they were trying for my sake, but I didn’t need it. At the age of 6, the skin on my finger burst from constant sucking, it was very painful for me, but my parents never regretted it. On the contrary, they said that it was my fault. Now I hate chess and ice skating, and I will never force my children to do anything they don’t want.”
What is the danger
This habit has a negative impact on swallowing, since the lips are often in an abnormal position. Depending on the duration of this behavior, injuries to tissues and facial nerves may occur. Prolonged thumb sucking, licking or biting of lips causes negative effects on the tissues around the mouth.
In many situations, such habits are ignored; parents think that it will go away on its own, thereby aggravating their course. The lips crack, swell, peel, irritation and problems with the mucous membrane appear around them. Over time, malocclusion also appears. It is important to notice the problem in time, find out its cause, and get rid of it.
Sniffles, grunts, coughs
From early childhood, children understand that during illness, parents forget about their important, adult affairs and devote all their time to the sick child. As children get older, they may deliberately blow their nose loudly, cough, or sigh while pressing their hand to their forehead. At the same time, the little pretenders feel good, they just want to attract the attention of their parents. Children want to be pitied, shown care, hugged and given warm milk. This happens, as a rule, in families where parents are busy with their own affairs and do not want to spend time with their children.
Sometimes boys and girls “get sick” so as not to go to kindergarten/school. There are a number of reasons why they behave this way.
- The child feels uncomfortable in a group or class. Perhaps he has problems with one of his students or classmates, as well as a conflict with the teacher. If there is no trusting relationship with the parents, the child cannot honestly admit why he does not want to go to an educational institution. It’s easier for him to feign illness and stay home.
- Parents make excessive demands. Even though children are full of energy and strength, they can also get tired. They also need rest. If mom and dad don’t understand this, they have to resort to tricks.
- The child lacks parental attention. Kids need their parents to spend time with them: reading, playing, sculpting, drawing. Sometimes children want to be at home with mom or dad, instead of going to kindergarten/school.
A sick child receives the necessary dose of love and warmth. If you suspect that your son or daughter is pretending to be sick, look into the situation instead of immediately scolding the child.
Ksenia, mother of 6-year-old Dasha:
“My daughter rarely gets sick; her ailments can be counted on one hand. But in the last year, I began to notice that Dasha began to cough, sneeze and sniffle in the evenings. At first I rushed with a thermometer, they even called the pediatrician several times, although there were no obvious causes of the cold. The doctor said that the girl was fine. We underwent a full examination at the medical center, but all tests and indicators were normal. I did not connect Dasha’s condition with the fact that we moved and my daughter went to a new kindergarten.
It turned out that no one played with her in the group, she didn’t find any new friends, so she didn’t want to go there. But she was afraid to admit it, because my husband and I work, and she didn’t want to upset us. I blame myself for not talking to Dasha frankly, for not finding out the reasons why my daughter was making up illnesses. We work a lot, but no work is worth forgetting about the problems of children. Now Dasha goes to a private kindergarten. She immediately made friends in the group, and now every morning her daughter runs to kindergarten with joy.”
Why does the problem occur?
When asked why a child bites his lips, a child psychologist will help you find out the reason. Normally, the sucking reflex disappears on its own before the age of two. Therefore, finger sucking or lip licking should not be considered a norm that will go away with age. In most situations, a child wants to bite the skin only because something is bothering him, for example, the skin is peeling from frost, chapping, or overheating.
Another reason for this habit may be neurosis. If children are constantly nervous and worried, they subconsciously begin to look for a way out for their emotions. For some children, the solution is in the form of thumb sucking and nail biting. Another child sucks his lip or licks it constantly. Perhaps the child needs the affection and warmth of his parents if they spend more time at work, often quarrel, or are about to separate. Children also experience a lack of attention and affection when a younger brother or sister appears.
A certain parenting strategy can provoke the development of such behavior. Some parents adhere to this attitude - even newborns should not be spoiled, because otherwise they will be overly naughty and spoiled. According to most child psychologists, children who experience a lack of parental attention suffer from this bad habit. Such a baby was left alone in the crib for a long time, he was rarely picked up or rocked, and his sleep was disturbed. Typically, such children were weaned early or abruptly removed from the pacifier.
The sucking instinct remains unsatisfied, as a result of which the child begins to suck fingers or lips. Also, the cause of negative behavior is any tension, for example, if he is angry, hungry, jealous or envious. Therefore, it is important for parents to fight the habit that negatively affects their baby. It is important to teach your daughter or son to express negative emotions in other ways. The easiest way is to express them in words.
Overprotection also becomes a cause of constant biting of the lip during the child’s development. In some cases, children observe negative behavior in adults or other children and begin to repeat it. If this is the reason, you should not focus on the problem and monitor your behavior.
Most often, if a child begins to bite his lower lip, the cause is anxiety or tension. If he experiences a lack of affection, he is bored or scared, he tries to find solace in the few actions available to him (manipulation with body parts - sucking a finger or lip, pulling hair, ears). At first, he performs such actions because his mother is not nearby. Later, when such a habit becomes established, he no longer pays attention to the fact that his mother is nearby. Such actions can drag on for many years if nothing is done.
In other situations, the child notices that his mother paid attention to him after he bit his lips. In this case, the reverse mechanism is activated. He sees that he has found a way to attract attention to himself, after which he continues to actively do what they are trying to wean him from. And he continues to do this because in the process of weaning he receives the long-awaited attention of his parents.
And psychologists consider another common reason for this phenomenon to be a situation where a mother or father often scolds a child, without allowing them to justify themselves. He harbors resentment, swallows tears, bites his lips. This often becomes the reason for the emergence of a negative habit in adulthood, with any manifestation of injustice towards a person.
Child bites lips
If you are talking to a baby, and he constantly bites his lips, perhaps the baby is afraid to say something unnecessary or forbidden. Perhaps the child is holding back with all his might so as not to give away some secret. Or he does not want to enter into an argument with his opponent, even if he does not agree with his point of view.
Important! If a baby bites his lip while doing something (for example, painting a picture or making a craft from plasticine), most likely he is simply focused and completely involved in the process.
Children bite their lips, as a rule, when parents constantly pull back, do not allow them to speak out, and do not take into account the opinions of younger family members. What should adults pay attention to?
- Try to control what you say to your son (daughter) even in those moments when you are very angry or angry.
- Constantly tell your child that you love him and that you are proud of his achievements. Try to avoid criticism and remarks that destroy warm relationships.
- Give children more freedom. Let them exercise independence, use imagination and creativity. If you do everything for your child, he will not gain invaluable life experience. And endless advice from parents only hinders the development of creative thinking.
Alena, 27 years old:
“My parents raised me in strictness. I was not allowed to express my thoughts, desires, my life was clearly planned by my mother and father. “Don’t argue with your elders”, “You must study well”, “No one asked you” - this is how they talked to me since childhood. Then I developed the habit of biting my lips. They crusted over, burst, and an itchy rash formed around them. The dermatologist prescribed some ointments and tinctures, but everything happened again. When I left my parents and turned to a psychologist, we found the reason for my habit, which, by the way, still remains. I almost don’t communicate with my parents, we don’t have a good relationship, but it’s not my fault.”
Treatment
If the problem is neurological in nature, the neurologist will usually prescribe sedatives or anticonvulsants. If the problem is dental in nature, the dentist may prescribe an anesthetic or antibacterial gel. But, if such behavior is not associated with a disease, but is a bad habit, then the mother should take care of how to wean her child from sucking the lower lip, adhering to psychological advice:
- First of all, you should show the child how ugly it looks from the outside. Perhaps he will see this behavior, he will not like how it looks, and he will try not to repeat these actions again.
- You can come up with a reward system, for example, if the child does not do this for one week, then the parent takes him to an amusement park. At first he will try not to suck his lip out of curiosity, and then this habit will disappear.
- You can also lubricate your lips with something sharp, such as mustard or aloe juice. But do not overdo it with this component, as skin irritation or problems with the gastrointestinal tract may occur.
- If your child is between 6 and 18 months old, you can give him a pacifier.
When a child is busy with his own business and constantly sucks his lip, then you should be wary and observe his further behavior. This may be a bad habit that leads to various complications, or a symptom of a serious illness that requires immediate treatment.
The child makes faces and clowns around
When a baby makes faces and grimaces, he is thereby trying to attract the attention of others. Usually children behave this way because they feel insecure. It seems to them that they are worse than other girls and boys, so they clown around and attract the attention of adults and children in every possible way. If parents make a remark, the children are only happy, because the goal has been achieved and they have been noticed. As a rule, such behavior signals that parents regularly criticize the child: “How clumsy you are,” “You never manage to do anything properly,” “Are you completely stupid? How many times do I explain the same thing to you?”
On a note! A child may make faces and act out when he has a younger brother or sister. This is how he attracts the attention of the mother, who is busy with the newborn for days.
Elena, mother of 6-year-old Ruslan and 3-month-old Eva:
“Ruslan has always been a calm, polite boy. But even when I was pregnant with Eva, he began to behave very strangely. He could start making faces on the street, sticking his tongue out at passers-by, running and screaming wildly in the store. And after Eva was born, Ruslan’s behavior became even worse. It’s good that experienced mothers of two and three children on the forum suggested that my eldest son needed my attention. I thought that he was already an adult and able to take care of himself. But it turns out I was wrong.”
What to do?
What to do if the child is already quite large and sucks his lower lip. There are several reasons for this behavior. First of all, the parent must figure out what’s going on. This requires:
- Talk to him, find out the reason why he does this.
- Find out why he begins to behave strangely, perhaps he does this every time after his parent punishes him.
- Examine his oral cavity independently for the presence of stomatitis or the eruption of new teeth. If, as a result of the examination, white plaque was discovered, then it is worth treating the affected area with a special dental gel.
- Show the child to a specialist: psychologist or neurologist.
The way to solve a problem directly depends on the cause of its occurrence. But under no circumstances should you:
- scold the child every time he performs this action;
- try to shame him.
In this case, the child may withdraw into himself even more or begin to do this on purpose to annoy the parent. But you shouldn’t let such a habit take its course either; it can lead to even more global problems.
The baby screams, makes trouble, offends others
If the baby regularly makes scandals, this may indicate that the baby is hiding some serious problem. A little person in constant stress must throw out negative emotions, and he does this in the best way he knows how: he throws toys, hits and bites his mother, takes away the car from the neighbor boy. This behavior is often typical for children raised by one parent or grandparents.
The most amazing thing is that aggressive children can hear encouraging words from adults: “You are my best child,” “I adore you,” “You are my only hope in life.” The baby feels a serious burden of responsibility, because his parents consider him ideal, so he needs to live up to it. The nervous tension that grows inside every day does not give the child peace, and he has to use aggression to free himself from negative emotions.
